That’s a great piece, Henry. I, too, love the framed citation. I can’t beleive it is real! 😂
I never argued with my mom. Her favorite retort when I even questioned her actions was “because I said so!” I also used that on my kids when they were growing up. lol! Didn’t seem to work the same magic, though.
“Wishing my parents were more like my non Asian friends” - I can relate. My parents moved here from Latvia in their early 20s and got pregnant with me as they were reinventing themselves. I remember wishing I could just have an Uncrustables pb&j for lunch at school instead of my mom’s home cooking. Being a first gen immigrant kid growing up in America is such a unique experience but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
lol yeah it’s a struggle growing up but it’s almost like living abroad for the first time and being immersed in a different culture. I think it teaches a different layer of empathy that is otherwise harder to come by
As the daughter of a Korean immigrant, this resonates. The silent treatment and then moving on. Brutal. But now as the daughter-in-law of textbook suburban American parents, the patterns are still present. Could it be not where our parents come from but when they came from? Can we just blame boomers for everything? :)
The frame! That’s pure evil genius 😂 I love how you’ve been able to reinterpret the family dynamics in this way. My family would also get quiet until conflicts diffused unresolved, but for different reasons I still don’t fully understand. Thanks for sharing this.
I had very similar experiences. Previous mistakes being brought up or my parents not elaborating. I am just realizing now, how they were brought up really affected their outlook and how they choose to raise children.
You are fast becoming one of my favourite writers. You’re intelligent, insightful and quietly witty. I am desperately awaiting your publication.
Ah thanks Kim, that means so much!
That’s a great piece, Henry. I, too, love the framed citation. I can’t beleive it is real! 😂
I never argued with my mom. Her favorite retort when I even questioned her actions was “because I said so!” I also used that on my kids when they were growing up. lol! Didn’t seem to work the same magic, though.
lol yeah different generational context I’m sure with what a child can get away with!
A great read. Laughed out loud at the framed citation for drinking.
More than 25 years later they still have it!
Ha!
“Wishing my parents were more like my non Asian friends” - I can relate. My parents moved here from Latvia in their early 20s and got pregnant with me as they were reinventing themselves. I remember wishing I could just have an Uncrustables pb&j for lunch at school instead of my mom’s home cooking. Being a first gen immigrant kid growing up in America is such a unique experience but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
lol yeah it’s a struggle growing up but it’s almost like living abroad for the first time and being immersed in a different culture. I think it teaches a different layer of empathy that is otherwise harder to come by
As the daughter of a Korean immigrant, this resonates. The silent treatment and then moving on. Brutal. But now as the daughter-in-law of textbook suburban American parents, the patterns are still present. Could it be not where our parents come from but when they came from? Can we just blame boomers for everything? :)
lol maybe it is a boomer thing!
The frame! That’s pure evil genius 😂 I love how you’ve been able to reinterpret the family dynamics in this way. My family would also get quiet until conflicts diffused unresolved, but for different reasons I still don’t fully understand. Thanks for sharing this.
Yeah it hung in our hallway as a mark of shame and they still have it… but on the family dynamics …It’s taken me like 40 years to figure out!
I had very similar experiences. Previous mistakes being brought up or my parents not elaborating. I am just realizing now, how they were brought up really affected their outlook and how they choose to raise children.
I like how not discussing fights and rug sweeping is embedded in our Asian parenting, and mine didn’t even come from China…
Ahhh thank you so much!